Ramadan and the Busy Muslimah by Umm Jamal ad-Din
One of the greatest struggles is we all want to get close to Allah in this month but we find that because of our responsibilities and busy schedules it gets in the way of focusing and dedicating time. Some are mothers some are students. When we compare with others who have time to recite Quran we may feel resentful. How can we get the most out of Ramadan despite this?
*** Free up time before Ramadan ***
plan ahead and free up as much time as you can. What can you do now, drop from your schedule? Postpone appointments, cut down your work schedule, complete assignments, prepare for exams.
spring clean the house before Ramadan. This saves time. Don’t waste days in Ramadan spring cleaning before Eid.
if possible get the Iftar and Eid sweets done before Ramadan. Don’t overdo Iftar invites. Invite only those you need to. The goal is to feed the fasting and keep ties of kinship. When we have invited people we can’t focus on worship.
Get Eid shopping done before Ramadan. Kids don’t need new clothes. Good clothes are fine.
do meal planning. Do the shopping done and stock up the freezer. Reduce going out of the house.
*** Simplify your life in Ramadan. ***
We think we have to do this and that. Take a holiday from dunya. Slow down. Enjoy the time. Focus on Ibadah.
This is not the month of food and preparing food. It is the time of feeding your soul. We don’t need ten dishes. It’s not a famine. Don’t do more than one dish. Eat 1/3 drink 1/3 and 1/3 for air.
Cook for two days.
change the routine. You don’t have to dust and scrub the bathroom daily. Cut corners. Don’t bathe every kid every night.
Stop trying to be a martyr. Delegate. Everyone can help to clean and cook. Cooperate in Birr and Taqwa. Ask for help! This is time for goodness to others.
*** Get rid of time wasters. take a look at what you are doing with your time. ***
How much time do you spend on social media? 15 mins x 7 days x 4 weeks = 7 hours!
don’t go out of the house. Keep the time for yourself. Don’t focus on shopping it takes so long.
don’t watch TV series. Don’t turn the TV on even once. Pause on dunya.
don’t socialize. During the day don’t mix and sit around in peoples houses. Limit it to Iftar invites. Even then don’t overdo it. What are your priorities? Socializing can be a little chat before taraweeh in masjid. That’s enough to fulfil social needs.
the salaf used to stick to the masjid. They feared mixing with people. It’s a risk of falling into backbiting gossiping especially while fasting or even talking about dunya and things that don’t benefit. You lose your motivation.
*** Ikhlas ***
plan for quality over quantity. Which one of you is best in deeds, not most in deeds. Focus on Ikhlas. Do small deeds with Ikhlas rather than many deeds without sincerity. Try to reach ihsan and perfect.
*** Aim for ihsan ***
Perfect your salah. Have ihsan. Slow down. Take more focus. We don’t focus and that’s why we don’t get the benefit of the prayer. We are in need of our prayers.
Pray the prayer in the early time. When you delay you are prone to rush. The reward is greater in the beginning time.
don’t compare to others. Some people may pray longer prayers. Prayers with Ikhlas and khushu and shorter is better than a long prayer where a person is wishing to get out of it.
focus especially in the Sajdah. This is the closest you can be to Allah. Make du’a. Pour out your problems.
perfect the fast. Fasting is levels. Reach the highest level. With ihsan. Conscious of Allah. Speech. Hearing. Sight.
what brings you close to Allah? It is the faraidh compulsory actions. And then voluntary deeds.
*** May Allah help us reach the high level of wilayah. When we reach this level Allah protects your gaze and speech and limbs etc. You begin to love to worship and what pleases Allah. This is how Allah protects you so your whole life is for Allah. We try to practice this in Ramadan so it becomes our lifestyle all through the year not just in Ramadan. ***
ihsan with others. Treat others well. Improve akhlaq with everyone. High level of reward. Don’t forget to smile. Become better in Ramadan not worse.
“I am fasting I am fasting”
*** Prioritize your deeds ***
do many deeds that maximize rewards at times that have greater reward.
if you don’t have time when you sit after fajr you can say سبحان الله وبحمده عدد خلقه ورضا نفسه وزنة عرشه ومداد كلماته Similarly you can recite Surat al Ikhlas. Fit in the deeds with great reward.
times like last third of the night and last hour on Friday. Last ten nights. Don’t neglect. Take a moderate pace in the beginning but last ten days give it your all.
*** set achievable goals. ***
*** 1️ have a daily plan and schedule. ***
All Fardh prayers on time. Plan should revolve around five prayers.
Schedule the kids around the prayers.
When are you reading Quran?
Pray 12 rawaatib.
Taraweeh. Reward for praying the nights. Not restricted to the beginning of the night. Be flexible.
Morning and evening supplications. Fortress of the Muslim.
Implement Ibadah in your routine. In the car. After prayer. Waiting outside class. Kids meal times
*** 2️ what do you want to achieve overall in the month. Impact of Ramadan. ***
taraweeh every night
Complete Quran at least once. If not fluent juz Amma. Set your goal according to your ability.
Feed fasting Muslims. Invite for Iftar. Cook and send. Leave food in masjid. Sadaqah for those who feed the fasting in refugee camps or poor countries - easiest.
secret good deeds. Seven under the shade of the throne. Sat alone and remembered Allah until they got tears. Secret charity.
*** At least once sit alone and cry for the sake of Allah. ***
laylatul qadr. Last ten. Exert. If you can’t pray or fast don’t sleep. Make the night alive with worship. Can touch Quran without touching mushaf. Zikr. Dua. Tawbah. Sadaqah.
Focus so you leave feeling satisfied.
*** make the intention to live days and nights for Allah. ***
My prayer my sacrifice my living and dying is for Allah alone. This should be our aim in life. Even washing dishes and housework takes a new purpose. Enjoy mundane things because of the intention. Allah does not waste the reward of those who do good. If you live like this you taste the sweetness of life.
*** turn everyday habits to Ibadah through intention. Bismillah before everything. ***
*** move from the state of one good deed to the next. *** Read Quran. Next intention, clean for the sake of Allah. After taraweeh watch a lecture about Ramadan. Move from one state of reward to the next. All day.
*** incorporate Ibadah into routine. ***
Zikr. Istighfar. Easy to do while driving or cooking.
Take fasting to a higher level. Same for hajj.
Best Zikr is Quran.
*** Ibn al-Qayyim says the best of people who do any act in Islam are the ones who mention Allah the most when they are doing that act. The best ones who fast are the ones who remember Allah the most. ***
duas for bathroom, leaving house, returning, driving car, they add up.
use pockets of time. Commute. Waiting times. Quran app. Mushaf. Zikr. Dua.
Dua for marketplace. In sha Allah Protect from shaytan false desires. Million hasanat and million sins forgiven.
*** you can have the best time management and planner but unless you have barakah in your life you will not be able to achieve like others achieved. Ulama of the past didn’t have the planners. They had the barakah of Allah in their lives. You can take asbab but you need the help of Allah and His barakah in order to achieve. ***
starting the day with Quran puts barakah in the day
starting the day with the Zikr of the day.
People say I don’t have time for Quran but Quran gives you time. Quran blesses your time. Don’t say you don’t have time.
Start the day with Quran sets you on the trajectory for the rest of the day.
What did the prophet advise Fatimah? She had so much work. He told her to say subhanallah x ً33 alhamdulillah x 33 and Allahuakbar x 34 it is better than a servant. Do this before sleeping for barakah in your day.
Bismillah.
Dua for barakah - اللهم اجعلني مبارك أين ما كنت
We are all in different life stages. Single. Newly married. Kids grown up. When you have more time for Ibadah your Ramadan is about Ibadah. As for those whose kids are small then hers is a Ramadan of jihad. Striving. Seek reward through striving. Every Ramadan of the prophet wasn’t easygoing. Badr, khandaq and tabuk were in Ramadan. Muslims went through hardship. They sought reward through striving. Change your mindset. Consider it a state of striving. It can’t be a month of relaxing Ibadah. When the kids grow up you have more time. Ask Allah for that taste of enjoying Ibadah too.
The most important thing is to come to Ramadan having husn at thann in Allah, the highest hopes that Allah is going to bless you.
Those who strive for Our sake, We will open the path.
Allah can open up ways to have the best Ramadan. Allah is with those who do good. The more you seek ihsan the more you reach aims.
I ask Allah to let us all reach Ramadan. And to bless us in Ramadan. And to make us from those He forgives and accepts our prayers. And helps us to pray with Ikhlas in days and nights. And to reach a level of ihsan in fasting and prayers. And to make us from those He saves from hellfire. To bless us in Ramadan and to relieve the suffering from our brothers and sisters in the world. May He make it a healing for the hearts of the mumineen all around the world.